Trustless
by aMUSEment345
Summary: One shot. Post-ep 12X20, 'Unforgettable'. Nothing is as it seemed, and no one is who they were.


_**A.N. Too much unexplained behind the scenes, so most of this is a shot in the dark. It references some of the other one-shots from the Reid-in-prison arc.**_

 **Post-ep 12X20,** _ **Unforgettable**_

* * *

 _ **Trustless**_

 _pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod_

The rhythm of the litany kept time with her feet as JJ ran out of the BAU.

 _pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod_

A frantic phone call from Reid to Emily. His mother had been abducted from the prison! They had to find her!

She'd heard the words come over Emily's cell via speaker, as Reid had taken advantage of his allotted phone privilege to reach out to his teammates. As soon as his voice had come on, she'd picked up on the agitation in it, and been immediately concerned. But her concern at the _tone_ of his voice had soon become nothing, as compared with the concern raised by the words it had conveyed. His words had been nonsense, and she'd worried that what she'd dreaded the most had come to pass. Because, even more than she'd feared for his physical safety, she'd feared for the state of his mind. What Reid had said couldn't possibly be true! He was losing his grip on reality.

 _Diana couldn't have been at the prison….she still thinks he's at the beach! Cassie would have discussed it with me, before even thinking of bringing his mother to see him…and I would have said 'no'. I wouldn't do anything he didn't approve of first. How could he think that his mother had been to see him?!_

Had he begun to hallucinate? She'd heard about the drug running within the prison, and what he'd done to interrupt it. Had someone gotten hold of more product, and drugged him, in retaliation? Had he been beaten again? Was this the result of a head injury?

She'd opened her mouth to voice her worry to the others just as Garcia managed to connect Emily to the prison warden. A few minutes later, it was confirmed. The visitor log listed the names of Fiona Duncan, Diana Reid, and Carol Atkinson as having visited prisoner Reid within the last twenty-four hours.

"But….but…how can that be? Who would have brought Diana there? Cassie would have checked with me!" She directed her gaze toward Emily. "Unless….did Fiona talk to _you_ about this?"

Knowing the women had been friends, once upon a time. JJ hadn't had much contact with Reid's attorney, and had been able to form only a superficial impression of her. The most remarkable thing about the woman was the rapidity of her speech. Had he not been in the situation he was in, JJ was sure Reid would have expounded on it. She could almost hear him.

' _Rapid talking, is sometimes called 'pressured speech' or tachylalia_ _. It may be also be called agitolalia. It's associated with mania, and so is seen more commonly in people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or even with the use of stimulant drugs, such as cocaine or amphetamines.'_

She knew exactly what he would say, partly because she knew him so well….and partly because she'd looked it up. _That's_ how unusual Fiona Duncan's speech pattern had seemed to JJ.

 _Now I have to wonder if she's a 'fast-talker' in the con-man sense of the word._

But Emily _hadn't_ spoken with Fiona, and so asked their technical analyst to try to reach her.

"Direct to voice mail," Garcia had reported. "She might be in court."

There had been no answer at Reid's apartment, either, and JJ had been unable to do anything beyond leaving another voice mail on Cassie's phone. They would have to investigate in person.

That meant they would need to split up, to cover both Reid's apartment, and the prison. JJ had been torn, once again, about where she could do the most good.

She felt responsible for Diana, responsible to Reid. She was the most familiar with his apartment, and might be the most likely to see something out of place.

 _But Spence is beside himself. He needs me. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it's me who needs to see him._

Partly to satisfy herself that he hadn't actually snapped, and partly for assurance that she hadn't betrayed the trust he'd shown in charging her with caring for his mother. After all, she must have missed something, if any or all of this was true.

The decision was made for her when Emily gave them their assignments. JJ, Rossi and Alvez would go the prison, while she, Tara and Stephen went to Reid's apartment.

"Garcia, keep trying Fiona. In fact, find her cases on the court docket. You might be able to track her down at the courthouse. JJ, you're with Reid. Get everything he remembers about that case where he first saw the aide."

Tara had interrupted her. "Maybe I should try another cognitive with him, about _that_ case?" After all, she'd had success in getting the last one, and in filtering the false memory from the true one.

But Emily had shaken her head, looking from one of her female team members to the other.

"He remembers. He wasn't drugged for that case. And I'd like JJ's read on his emotional state."

Emily had continued her assignments. "Luke, talk to your contacts at Millburn, all right? And Rossi….the warden will be expecting you."

Rossi had nodded an acknowledgement. _It will be my pleasure to talk to the man who ignored an order to place an FBI agent in protective custody._

With that, they'd prepared to head their separate ways. As soon as the meeting had broken, JJ's brain had started its litany of fright, and worry, and recrimination.

 _What did I miss? Did I give Cassie too much leeway in hiring the night aides? Should I have insisted on meeting all of them? Should I have been more present to Diana? Should I have gone there every day? He trusted me with his mother, and I failed him!_

There was no way to know how Diana had come to be at the prison, nor her reaction to it, nor his. Nor whether what he feared was true.

 _Has he just read into something? Did seeing his mother break him? Is he not 'Spence' anymore? What if he's lost for good? What if it's my fault?_

 _pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod pleaseGod_

* * *

 _I have to get out of here! I have to get out!_

Reid paced his cell, three long strides in each direction, back and forth, back and forth.

 _Why didn't you see it? Why didn't you recognize her? Why didn't you realize who she was?_

Completely disregarding the fact that he'd been drugged at the time it had happened. One tended to disregard the facts when one was in a state of emotional upheaval.

 _You put her at risk! You idiot. You IDIOT! You knew Scratch was out there. You knew he'd gone after two members of your team. Did you think you were so special….or so inconsequential…that he wouldn't go after you? And you gave him the perfect opportunity! You separated yourself from the others, in every possible way. You left the team, and your mother, and your country, without a word to anyone. You may as well have put a target on your back. Instead, you put one on hers!_

His heart felt like it could pound out of his chest. He needed to move, but not just within the confines of his cell. He needed to get out of here, he needed to do something, anything, to save his mother!

Lyndsey Vaughn. It was so random. So completely unexpected. He tried to convince himself that he was wrong, that there was just a strong resemblance. Sleep deprivation might account for a faulty memory of a long ago case, after all. But...

He might have dismissed it as an odd coincidence, that she was his mother's new aide, if his brain hadn't finally resurrected the memory of her face from the hotel room in Mexico. After all, she'd been in witness protection. She would have assumed a new name any time she'd had to relocate. She might not have related to 'Lyndsey Vaughn' because she'd only answered to it for a very short period of her life. Maybe she hadn't responded to the name because she didn't remember it. Maybe she didn't remember _him_.

 _But she would have to. How do you forget the moment your father takes another life, right in front of you?_

Her subconscious might have suppressed the memory. It was possible she really didn't recognize him, nor the name he'd known her by. But she'd given herself away, nonetheless. This young, petite home health aide had happily walked into a prison and put out her hand to an accused murderer. She should have been hesitant, anxious, afraid. But she'd been completely confident and forthright…with everything except her real name. And then she'd uttered, to his mother, the same three words she'd said to him, in Mexico.

"Time to go."

And the final synapse had fired, and he'd known...and they'd been gone. For two hours now, they'd been gone.

 _Two hours! I have to get out of here!_

* * *

Down in the Office of Visitors, there was another set of feet pacing.

The BAU agents had badged their way to the Office of the Warden, where Rossi was still conversing with the occupant. But they'd been granted permission to 'interview Prisoner Reid' as a 'material witness to a possible abduction'. It would mean bypassing the community visitation room, thank God. And, while she was sure there would be some sort of security camera hidden in the room, it would be the first time she'd seen Reid alone, and relatively privately, since the day he'd returned from Mexico. And she both craved it and dreaded it.

She'd failed him, in one way or another. She'd either failed him by not getting him out of his personal hell before it had had a chance to irrevocably change him….or she'd failed him by failing to protect his mother, by failing to do the one thing he'd asked her to do. She couldn't know which failure she'd perpetrated until she saw him, and assessed his emotional state. She could only know that she'd failed.

Ten minutes later, she was escorted to a private visiting room. The door closed and latched automatically once her escort left, and she experienced a moment of panic at the idea of not being able to leave of her own accord. She'd been in prisons before, and even in secured rooms. But never alone, and never dependent upon…..at the mercy of….someone else to help her. Tears that were never very far away these days sprang to her eyes at the thought of her best friend having lived with this sense of helplessness for weeks now.

She'd been turned away from the door, but spun quickly around when she heard the lock mechanism work. Then the door opened, and he was there.

He'd only known it was a member of the team. When he saw who was waiting for him, he had to consciously restrain himself.

The each stood, motionless, their gaze locked, as they waited for the guard to leave. As soon as the door latched again, and they saw the guard move past the window, JJ opened her arms, and he walked into them. Until he'd held his mother's hands a few hours ago, it had been nearly two months since Reid had been touched with tenderness, and not with malice. He melted into her embrace, and pulled her as close as he knew how, without crushing her. Her face was buried into his shoulder, and when he felt her breath hitch, he realized she was crying. He would have cried too, if he'd had the energy to spare.

Had there not been such pressing business, they might have stayed like that for hours, holding the world at bay. But there _was_ pressing business, and it wouldn't wait. As they broke their embrace, he held her at arms' length and pleaded his case.

"I have to get out of here! JJ, I have to get out of here! She's got my mom!"

Looking up, JJ made no attempt to hide the fact that she was studying him.

Seeing, he understood. He knew it sounded crazy, which meant that _he_ sounded crazy. So he assured her. "I haven't lost my mind. She was here. They were _both_ here."

It was enough for her. He _sounded_ like himself. When they'd held one another, he'd _felt_ like the man she'd known and loved as her best friend, all these years. Gone was the uniquely familiar scent of soap and shampoo, and cologne, replaced now by the odor of prison, and fear, and desperation. But he was still Spence. Hurting, frantic and terrified, but he was still Spence. And so she knew which sin of failure she'd committed, and her words came pouring out.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I should have been more on top of it. I should have been going there every day! If I had, this wouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry…"

In almost any other circumstance, he would have been compelled to comfort her, to assure her that there was nothing she could have done to avoid this. But he couldn't spare the emotional energy right now. Everything he had left had to be given to saving his mother.

"I need to get out of here. It's already been two hours. They could be anywhere!"

JJ regretted her outburst of apology _. He's right. It's about him and his mom, not about you._

"Emily went to your apartment with Stephen and Tara. She called just before I came in here. It doesn't look like there was any kind of struggle."

She moved to the table and sat, and he took the seat across from her.

"How long has Lyndsey Vaughn been with her?"

"What?"

"How long? Mom said she'd fired Cassie, and she had this new nurse, Lynds….. _Carol_. Carol Atkinson. How long has she been taking care of my mother?"

Despite her intention, guilt washed over JJ again. "I don't know. Spence, I'm sorry. I was there a few days ago, but then we were away, and… Oh, God, I should have asked Garcia to look in on her, or Will. I'm so sorry."

He spoke right over her apology. "So, Cassie was still there a few days ago? How many? Two? Three?"

"Maybe. I think it was three or four days ago. She didn't say anything to me. I thought they were getting along well."

"It was paranoia. Mom thought Cassie was stealing from her, so she fired her."

"But she _couldn't_ ….."

The agency was supposed to let JJ know of any changes in care providers, even if she couldn't meet with all of them in person.

"I know. But Mom thinks the agency sent Lyndsey to her as a sub for Cassie. Which means…"

"Which means that we need to worry about what they did to Cassie."

Reid had another possibility. "Or we need to look at Cassie as working for Scratch. What if she set it up so she'd _have_ to be replaced?"

JJ realized he might be right. "Okay, so I'll have Pen try to track her down, and run some background on her. But… _Lyndsey Vaughn_?"

Having been reminded of the case, JJ could remember feeling for the young girl whose life had been repeatedly disrupted because of the choices made by her father.

He nodded. "I know. I mean, I could see, back then, that she'd already suffered damage to her psyche. I just never thought….I guess I just never thought about her again at all."

"Why would you? We have so many cases."

But _that_ case had been triggering for him. He'd craved after that case. And, to this day, he couldn't tell his best friend about it. But he remembered everything exactly as it had happened. He remembered Lyndsey demanding her father kill one of her captors, in her presence. He told JJ about it.

"At the time, I wondered... But then I thought maybe she'd said it out of fright, you know? Like, she wouldn't feel safe unless she knew he was dead."

JJ had helped to bring Lyndsey away from the scene that day.

"I do kind of remember her. The thing I remember was that she wasn't crying. She looked like maybe she _had_ been, but she wasn't crying _then,_ and I remember thinking it was strange. But….why would she want to hurt you?"

He could only shake his head. "I don't know. I remember trying to use her reaction to get her father to see that what he was doing was hurting her. But it wasn't anything that she would have held a grudge about."

JJ was reflective. "I never did any follow up with her. You know, like I used to do with families or with people we'd saved. I used to call them a few months later, and then again, on the anniversary."

He remembered. "You connected with them."

She gave a wry smile. "I miss that a little bit. It was a way for me to remind myself that there was a reason to keep at it. We see such horrible things…and I wanted to know that it was worthwhile."

"It was. It _is_." _I hope._

"But I never connected with her, because she and her father were whisked off by WitSec right from the scene. For all I know, she never debriefed about it. Never had therapy, never talked to anyone but her father. Telling the story to anyone else would have threatened their protection."

"That's right."

With that, a final synapse fired in Reid's sleep-deprived brain, and he snapped his fingers. " _That's_ why Lyndsey! We know Scratch had access to WitSec records. He probably saw that the BAU had been involved with the Vaughns, and he decided it would be poetic to use one of them."

It made sense, in a serial-killer kind of way. "And Lyndsey was obviously the more suggestible," said JJ.

"Or she has DID. We know she was traumatized, and she had several false identities even as a kid…."

"Maybe she stopped realizing they were false?"

"I don't know. But we need to look into it." He was back on his feet, unable to sit patiently a moment longer. "I have to get out of here!"

JJ sat and watched him pace the room. "We know he won't be able to get you released, but Rossi is up with the warden right now, trying to find out if his fame has any currency in the prison system. He's hoping he can convince the warden to give you unlimited phone time, maybe even video. Then you can work with us from here. It's the best we can hope for until your trial..…but that's only a few days away."

Knowing it would be small comfort. They were worried about Diana over a matter of _hours_. Over the length of a trial, anything could happen to her.

Reid realized she didn't know. "My trial's been postponed."

"What? No!"

He sat across from her again, as he'd sat with Fiona just yesterday. It seemed like a year ago.

"Fiona said it's been postponed six weeks. She said it was a good thing, so we can investigate what I remembered about Mexico."

JJ's eyes narrowed. "Did she _ask_ for it to be postponed?"

"I didn't think so. But I didn't ask. I just assumed…" His eyes closed in frustration over what they hadn't seen yesterday.

JJ spoke it for both of them. "She didn't tell us about the postponement. And she didn't tell us she was arranging for your mother to visit. If she knew about the new aide, she didn't choose to tell us…. _me_ …about that, either."

Reid couldn't ignore the implication. "You think she might be working for Scratch." Then making the counter argument. "But she's Emily's friend."

"Whom Emily hadn't seen in years. Who knows how far Scratch's influence goes? Look, all I'm saying is that there are things she's kept to herself, when she had no reason not to share them. I just think you should..."

"You think I should be careful, because I don't know if I can trust her."

 _My own lawyer. I can't trust the guards, I can't trust my 'friend' Calvin Shaw, I can't trust my memory...and now I can't trust the person who is supposed to be trying to get me out of here!_

JJ read the look on his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about _all_ of this. And, oh, God, I'm so sorry that I didn't take better care of your mother. I'm so busy telling you who not to trust, and it turns out you can't even trust me!"

Reid reached across the table and grasped the hands she'd been wringing. "When it seemed like I had nowhere to turn, there you were, not even waiting for me to ask. I don't know that I could have even _brought_ myself to ask, it was too huge a thing. But you took it on, and ..….. JJ, I don't even know how to tell you how much comfort it's brought me, knowing it's been you looking after her. I knew you'd treat her with respect and kindness, because I've seen you do it for a hundred grieving families."

"But I failed her, Spence. And you."

He squeezed her hands in assurance. "Scratch is resourceful. He knows how to get what he wants. It didn't matter if it was you or me. He would have found a way. Please don't own this. Just help me find her. If I can't get out of here, be my eyes and ears."

"You know I'll do anything." She ran her eyes around the space they were in. "Was this the room?" Trying to picture Diana being led away from her son, to an unknown fate. Trying _not_ to picture the horror it must have meant for the man sitting across from her. "I can't even imagine…was she frightened?"

He shook his head. "Not unless _I_ frightened her. She seemed to like Lyndsey….Carol. She was comfortable with her. But, as soon as I realized, I started pounding the window and shouting. If she heard me, it might have upset her. But I don't know."

She looked her sorrow to him, but held her apology this time. Being sorry wasn't helping anything. Working the case would.

"All right. So, can we think this through? I wish I had something to write on….my memory won't hold what yours will."

Which reminded him. "The guard took my journal."

"The…your… _why_?"

"I don't know. He said it was contraband, even though the counselor wanted me to keep it. I got the impression that the guards are angry because Fiona pulled some strings about visitation."

Fiona again. The change in visitation had seemed like a _good_ thing, until it hadn't been. Maybe Fiona was the same.

The news about the journal made JJ both angry and sad.

"Was…..did you draw the picture?" The one Henry had made for him. The one she'd been sure he'd committed to memory, and could recreate, to remind him of the life that awaited him on the outside.

He _had_ drawn it, and added her into the scene as well. He'd visited that drawing multiple times a day in the weeks since.

Reid tapped his temple. "Don't worry. It's up here."

"Good, I'm glad. But….Spence, was there anything in there that could hurt you? Anything that could affect your case or cause you a problem while you're here? Or…."

"Or anything that Scratch could use." His eyes started tracking back and forth in that way that had become so familiar to JJ, as he virtually 'read' his journal. "I don't think so. I mostly wrote about my own reactions, maybe a little of what I observed about the others. But I was careful not to use names."

 _Because, somehow, I knew this day would come._

"Okay, good. Well, I guess I'll just have to find a way to expand my memory. So, can we go over what we know and what we don't?"

"We know that Lyndsey Vaughn..or Carol Atkinson, or whoever she really is, drugged me in Mexico and killed Nadie Ramos."

"But we don't know why, or how she found you. We don't know if she followed you on her own, or if she was sent."

"Scratch sent her." Surprised he had to remind her.

"Spence, we don't know that. We've assumed all along that it was Scratch, because of the drugs and because we knew someone had set you up. But….how do we know it was _Scratch_?"

Reid stared at her. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Maybe the panic at what might be happening to his mother. But he couldn't make sense of what JJ was saying.

"I don't understand. You don't think it's Scratch?" His voice rising in incredulity.

Her hands went up in a gesture that said she didn't know. "All I'm saying is that we don't have evidence. Yes, you were drugged, but we can't say for certain that it was scopolamine."

"It had to be, JJ. There's no other way to explain the memory loss."

"Spence….have you ever been that high before?" Knowing she was coming dangerously close to a taboo subject. "Is it possible you were too impaired to _form_ the memory?"

"But I _did_ remember it. Today, when I saw her. Tara helped me get some of it back, but today, I remembered most of it. It _had_ to be scopolamine."

"All right, maybe it was. And maybe that does point to Scratch. But, let's face it, you would never have thought of Lyndsey Vaughn. Isn't there someone _else_ you might not have thought of?"

Reid cocked his head. "You have an idea." A statement, not a question.

"I don't know if I do or not. But I was thinking about it, trying to work it through, and getting frustrated. And then Will helped me look at it a different way." She told Reid about her list of unsubs he'd put away, the ones most likely to hold a grudge. "Wouldn't one of _them_ have more reason to set you up than Lyndsey Vaughn?"

"You think she might be working for one of them?"

"Or Scratch." Putting their main suspect back on the table. "I'm not saying it's not him. If you're right about the scopolamine….and you probably are….then that's his m.o. He probably _is_ involved in some way. But I think we need to broaden our suspect pool."

He'd been so attached to the idea that Scratch was behind his framing, that he'd had trouble accepting anything else. But what JJ was saying made sense, and he was on board with her now.

"If it's Scratch, he probably got to her through WitSec. Garcia might not be able to trace them there, but she should be able to find out what happened with the cases her father was acting as a witness for. See if she can find out if anything happened to him. Lyndsey's thinking was already twisted back then, and if she lost her father, she would be very vulnerable to Scratch's influence."

"Okay. And I'll have her look into anywhere Lyndsey's path might have crossed with any of our other unsubs."

"If she has a criminal history, she could have met them inside. I guess we can't rule out a woman."

"Which is why I think we need to have Cat Adams on our list. Also because she threatened you."

The name brought another memory rushing back, and Reid's mouth fell open. "I'll remember your name, but you won't remember mine."

For a second, JJ thought he was referring to the two of them. But his facial expression said otherwise.

"What?"

"It's what she said to me, right before they took her away. She said, 'I'll remember your, but you won't remember mine.' I thought she was talking about me following in my mother's footsteps, and getting early Alzheimer's. But…."

"But now you think it was a threat."

He nodded. "An empty one, considering she was on her way to prison at the time. Did Garcia…."

"I asked her to look into _all_ of them today. Everyone on the list. She hadn't gotten back to me before I had to give up my cell."

He thought for a few seconds. "It would be appropriate, wouldn't it? I put her in prison, and then she does the same to me."

"Does that mean you're thinking it's her?"

He threw up his hands in frustration. "It _could_ be her. She seemed to pick up on how important my mother is to me. But then, that would be Scratch's style, too… to get at me through my family."

"Which brings us back to where we started.""

Reid had resumed pacing as he'd thought things through, but now took his seat across from JJ.

"When you leave here, I want you to go to my apartment. I know the others are looking at it, but you know it better. It's a little more…..crowded….since Mom's been there, and you're more used to what it looks like. Check _everything_ , JJ. Open every drawer and cabinet. Look under the rugs, Mom likes to hide things under the rugs. And the bed! Look under the bed. And the mattress. In fact…."

"I'll turn it over, and I'll turn the rest of the place inside out. But what am I looking for?"

"Mom…she still seems pretty sharp. The paranoia, obviously…..unless….unless she was _made_ to believe Cassie was taking things. So maybe not even the paranoia. What it means is that she might have noticed something, she might have hidden something, even written something down, if she thought she might need it for protection. Sometimes she writes little notes just to help her remember things. I don't know exactly what it will be. I just know I need you to look."

"I will, of course I will. And I'll get Garcia working on whatever she can find on the Vaughns, and Cat Adams, and the rest of them, and I'll get the team to go through those old cases, with the unsubs on our list. We'll find your mom, Spence. And we'll get you out of here."

Trying to infuse her words with a confidence she didn't feel.

"I know you will."

It came out automatically, even though he wasn't sure he believed it any more. He looked at her across the table, and saw it in her eyes. She didn't believe it either.

The reality of it hit him, hard. They had far more questions than answers, and no one to trust except themselves and their teammates. His mother, whose entire life had been lived within the prison of her mind, was now the prisoner of whoever hated him enough to orchestrate this dismantling of his life. And he, himself, perhaps set to spend the _rest_ of his life as a prisoner. His head hung down with the agony of it, and she was immediately out of her seat.

JJ came around behind him and wrapped her arms tight across his chest, her head on his shoulder as she whispered into his ear.

"I know it looks bleak. I know it feels like defeat. But it's not, Spence. They won't hurt her. I'm sure of that. It would serve them nothing."

She was pretty certain their unsub would rather watch Reid go through the torture of Diana's long, slow death from Alzheimer's. But she wasn't about to voice that aloud. She continued in his ear.

"We'll get her back. And we _will_ get you out of here. We're good at what we do, remember? Whoever this is, we've beaten them before... _you've_ beaten them before. And you'll do it again. You've already started...you've given us two major breakthroughs just by remembering Mexico and recognizing Lyndsey."

She couldn't see his face, but she could feel her words having their effect on both of them. They _were_ good at what they did, and he _had_ bested this unknown enemy before. JJ felt a renewed determination to help him make it happen again. She knew, instinctively, that it was important that it be _him_ who made it happen. It would go a long way toward restoring him to himself.

Stepping back, she turned him in his seat, and squatted down in front of him, looking up into a face that was more familiar to her than her own.

"I want to hear you say that you believe me, that you can see yourself walking out of here,, and going home to your mother, and never looking back."

Her words were met with a silence that spoke volumes, as did the look of sad resignation on his face. So she tried another approach.

"Okay, so you're not ready to say it yet. But that doesn't have to keep you from _acting_ like you believe it. We have a lot of work ahead of us, Spence, and we can't do it without you. I won't ask you to speak a lie. But i will ask you to keep working. Keep chipping away at that memory. Keep that incredible brain busy making those connections the rest of us would take years to see. Can you do that?"

His eyes had been cast down, and now lifted to meet hers. He was still himself enough to fall into the deep blue that always drew him so powerfully. Her eyes had regained the confidence they'd lacked just a few minutes ago. They held strength. They held hope. They held _him_.

He nodded, struggling, at first, to find his voice. "I can. I... I _will_. I _will_."

He'd reached deep, and pulled it out for her, that core of strength, so nearly buried by despair. JJ beamed at him.

"Spencer Reid, you are my hero." She moved into him, and put her arms around him again, and felt him pull her close.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. And...thank you."

When they released one another, JJ moved back to her seat at the table. Trying to keep up momentum, she moved immediately into planning mode, and drew Reid along with her.

"I'll find out what's what with the postponement of your trial."

"Don't talk to Fiona. See what you can find out indirectly. I don't want her to know we're looking into it."

"All right. I'll figure out a way. Just…try not to lose faith, okay? If Rossi has his way with the warden, we'll be able to see you as often as we need to, since we're 'working the case'." Making finger quotes. "And I just might 'need to see you' every day."

He smiled, as reached across and squeezed her fingers. "Thank you for this. It helps. It makes me feel like I'm doing something. I hated feeling useless."

JJ was heartened to hear him use the past tense.

"You're working the case, Spence. Like I told you, every major breakthrough we've had has come from you. Just keep working on that memory from Mexico. There's something else there, I know there is."

He agreed. "Maybe I can find a way to do my own cognitive. It can go down in FBI history as 'the Reid technique'."

Her brows went up. "Did you just make a joke?"

"Only about the name. But I think I will try the cognitive. See if I can bring myself back to the day, dig through it to see the thing my brain doesn't want me to see."

She was a little concerned that he would be alone when that happened, but there was nothing to be done about it.

A moment later, the door latch turned, and the guard came back into the room, immediately spying their clasped hands.

"No touching!"

They obediently disentangled their hands, even as they looked at each other with suppressed smiles. Reid was beginning to think he'd missed a lot by being in middle school at the age of eight.

The guard spoke again, looking toward JJ. "The other agents are waiting for you."

"They're not coming in?"

"They looked like they were in a hurry."

JJ and Reid exchanged a quick glance. Maybe there had been a break! JJ stood, as did Reid.

Keeping their hands to themselves, their eyes said what needed to be said.

"I'll be back, tomorrow if I can be. But I'll do everything I promised first."

"It's all right, I'm not going anywhere. Except, maybe, to Mexico."


End file.
